Saturday, April 5, 2008

Ideas for Ballarat 2020

There's a gathering in Ballarat today of 150 people selected as the best, brightest, most visionary in the local land, sitting down and knocking out ideas for their local member Catherine King - for her to dutifully bind together in a specially labelled ring-binder, cover in pithy post-it notes and place on the ever-expanding desk of Prime Tin-Tinester Kevin Rudd.

I managed to call the media guy for Catherine King and asked if anyone could pop down and have a chat. Or even have a listen to what was being said. The short answer was... no. Apparently what these people discuss and chalk down for the future of Ballarat is not for Ballarat people to know. Knowing what the popularly elected member for Ballarat will do with the opinions of these fellow electors is not for the electorate to know.

In light of that, here's my basic questions/discussion tips for Ballarat's future in 12 years time.

- stop electing pitiful dickheads to your local Council and then complaining about the pitiful dickheads at the local Council.

- why is it a small cabal of former private school rowers can command the Council and State Government to pour millions of dollars into refilling a lake that has gone dry?

- how come one ex-police officer can control nearly all of the licensed venues on one block of one town?

- why is it the Begonia Festival can drain the council of so much money when so many people of Ballarat think it's shit and never go?

- how much money did the Council sink into the Sovereign Hill Music Festival, and why didn't they book any local artists?

- if there's such a skills shortage, why then does the newly opened UB Tech have such a low number of students?

- how can one cinema manage to maintain a monopoly on cinemas, and why do they insist on showing only shit films continually, with only the briefest of schedules for anything vaguelly grown-up?

- do you really think the superpipe is going to fix all your water worries?
All these questions and more... but my feeling is we'll get muddled gravy of bureaucratese feel-good, with some basic keywords: "sustainability" "fighting obesity" "lowering petrol prices".
Meanwhile... the ship continues to flounder.

Show With No Name playlist April 1st

This week found us broadcasting on that most auspicous of occasions - the day after Angus Young's birthday. An important date - just to know that a 53 year old man is still making money by dressing up in a school uniform and hammering out guitar solos is alright by us.
This week was also special because Voice FM's program manager had supplied me with a special rectal vocoder implant, allowing me to transmit my thoughts through my arse and onto the airwaves, where once I was forced to communicate with only the aid of an Etch O Sketch and superb mime skills.
AC/DC - Let's Get It Up
The Vandals - Come Out Fighting
Lunachicks - Say What You Mean
The Misfits - Helena
TISM - 10 points for a Razor Scooter
Agnostic Front - Anthem
Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl
The Descendants - Rotting Out
The Hold Steady - Your Little Hoodrat Friend
Rancid - U Don't Care Nothin'
Iron Maiden - Powerslave
Sublime - We're Only Gonna Die For Our Arrogance
7O'Clock Drown Out the Drama Mix
Pennywise - It's Up to Me
Dramarama - Anything, Anything
Mid Youth Crisis - Mid Youth Crisis
AC/DC - Kicked in the Teeth Again
Henry Rollins - What's the Matter Man
Gorilla Biscuits - Start Today
Helmet - Biscuits for Smut
AFI - My Michelle
Black Sabbath - Faeries Wear Boots
Fugazi - Waiting Room
Fishbone - Let Them Ho's Fight
Circle Jerks - Group Sex
Ramones - Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment
Van Halen - Ain't Talkin About Love
Bay City Rollers - Bang Shang Alang