Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Reasons why Ballarat sucks so much arse

Thanks for Mr Dog for the stirring recollections from his shattered psyche of the Golden Plains Fester. I second most of those emotions. I see those try-very-hard types over at the Nation's Aunty have put together a visual history of sorts of the weeekend. Sadly, no evidence of the circle of junkie succubi who infested our dear mate Indiana's campsite...

I'm just strapping on the Cameo codpiece, Dr Hook eyepatch and Max Merritt glass eye now for the return of the Show With No Name tonight; the break in transmission has left me inspired to make new radio and begin a new series - read exclusively by Ballarat's media who have GoogleAlerts turned on and probably those two guys in Creswick who've tuned in to our show for the past couple of years. And Paddy-O. Godbless you, man. And all who sail in you.

Reasons why Ballarat Sucks So Much Arse
I'm going to run a comparison of the level of live music, festival action and general shit-togetherness of the town Ballarat/Springfield likes to think of as its own Shelbyville-rival. That's right folks. After living here for some years I am here to say Bendigo shits on Ballarat for getting it organised. Fer chrissakes Ballarat can't even organise a bushfire benefit gig without it turning in to a roundtabled arse-licking frotage in-house circle jerk for the mental midgets who still think they're the Cool Kids from school.

Jesus, all you had to do was put on a few bands and let all the B-town fireys who'd spent weeks over the other side of the state get free admission...

But you couldn't even get that right, you sad feckers. Ballarat, your time is up.

But I digress. As I said - the Show is back on tonight, 99.9FM after the Nuffy Request 5 Minute Special, 6pm until 8. Be there or wait for me to get my crap together and upload the audio on demand.


Anonymous said...

Ballarat is a shithole of a place, consistently cold and windy with only one place colder...The Alps. At least the alps have snow and people who smile. Ballarat roads are atrocious, the drivers always cut you off, pull out in front of you and expect you to slow down while they pick up speed and if you toot your hoon at them, you will be abused in the typical ballarat bogan way. No one smiles in Ballarat, because the place is that crap, there is nothing to smile about. Bendigo is paradise compared to Ballarat, there used to be rivaly between the two cities, but after living in both.....Bendigo shits all over Ballarat. At least in Bendigo they don't have a cloud constantly hanging over them, so the sun does shine in Bendigo. Ballarat heritage buildings have pretty much been destroyed, unlike bendigo who relish in their beauty. So if your thinking of moving to Ballarat.....DON'T, you will regret.

Anonymous said...

haha you faggots got it all wrong we just hate cunts from bendigo,crap try-very-hard bands and lazy fuckwits that go to music festivales cause thay have no job enjoy fucking your sister up there in the biggest shit hole in australia if she loves your dick as much as your mum loved mine she will scream like a slut too